Jedi Academy

The masters were encouraging them to seek them out for counseling, which seemed to make sense to Silas. The Vergeance had been a odd and frightening experience, and while he didn't expect to talk to Master Murah about girls. Well, talking about other things might not be so bad.

Spotting Master Murah near her tent, Silas made his way over, flashing the older woman a bright smile as he neared. "Um, could I bother you for a little bit, Master?"

Murah looked up from her reading, and put away her datapad. "Silas. It is no bother at all... what can I do for you?"

"Well, I uh, wanted to talk about my thing yesterday? The trip into the Vergeance? I xchatted to Master Ogrus a bit about it yesterday, but I heard is was important to talk about it, and I thought having multiple opions couldn't hurt." Maybe we shouldn't of picked a girl to talk about this with? Well, too late to change his mind now.

"Of course," she nodded and shifted in her seat to face Silas more fully, gesturing for him to take a seat as well. "I'm more than happy to help."

They young man nodded and took a seat across from Master Murah. They hadn't really spoke much since their time practicing on the ship, and that was probably a bad thing. "Well, first off, I'm wondering if I kinda cheated?" He asked a bit hesitantly.

She perked an eyebrow at that, though she seemed a bit amused at that opening line. "Cheating? How so?"

Silas fidgeted for a few moments before coming to a decision, and speaking. "Well, I went exploring the Jedi Temple a couple days ago, and I found this really old datapad. It belonged to this trainee, who took the test here and failed. It really didn't tell me much about the test itself. Only that the guy saw things he wasn't expecting?"

"But it did mention that he failed, and that failing was okay. So I don't think I was as nervous about it all as the other trainees?"

"Ah, I see... well, I would not worry about that being cheating, Silas," she said with a warm smile. "Sometimes we all stumble a little and make a mistake. That is simply how life is. The challenge then is how you get back up again from your fall."

Silas nodded, that was rather a relief, he'd been a bit worried about it. It was sort of a advantage after all, one that the others hadn't had.. "I suppose I should talk about the event itself though." The young man mumured, mostly to himself.

"It really started with seeing Master Borgus, well I thought it was Master Orgus, but it wasn't Hw told me that I failed, that I was unfit to be a jedi and I had to go home."

"Master Borgus... ah, bogus, I take it?" she asked mirthfully, but nodded as Silas went on. "And I guess you protested that order?"

"Kinda, I went with Bad, bogus works better though. I saw all the knghts and masters at one point. But I only talked with him and Norvin." What would he have called the other ones? Failissa?

"Well, not really. I asked him why, so I could try and understand his reasoning, but I kinda figured there had to be a reason."

"And did he give you a reason then?" she asked, as she had figured out the meaning of Norvin easily.

"Well..." His eyes shifted to the side. "He said I was ordinary, too ordinary to be a jedi. That I spent all my time, tinkering with gadgets, making costumes and, um... Ogling girls." The last part was said rather quietly, like he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to admit it.

It was difficult not to smile at this, but she managed to keep it to a mirthful twinkle in her eyes. "Well then, Silas... the Vergence usually shows us something that we are already thinking about. Things that worry us, or plans for the future, or just sometimes indecisions. Have you sometimes felt that you might be doing those things too much, and focused less on being a jedi?"

"Yeah, on a few occasions." His eyes shifted even more to the side. "But sometimes it's really hard not to look. Especially since some clothes are made to get you to look." He understood that much from making some.

"Plus tinkering is a lot of fun, and costumes are cool. So it's easy to get caught up in that stuff and spend a lot of time on it. Even when I'm not just making stuff for Ilum."

"And do you feel that these things have made you unsuited to be a jedi?" she followed up.

"Well, no. I mean I was a bit worried about the girls, and attachments and all that. But Master Ogrus and I had a talk about that yesterday. He said there was nothing wrong with look, that it was pretty natural. Then we talked about some other stuff." A blush had crept onto silas's cheek and he was very seriously studying the wall of the tent.

"I guess I could be a bit concerned about how much I like making things, though? And how I'll sometimes skip studying to work on something."

Murah chuckled softly. "Well, master Orgus is right about that. In that we cannot really truly deny our biological reactions or attractions. It is all a matter of not letting such impulses make decisions for you. Stars know we have plenty of examples of the consequences that leads to in popular holo-dramas."

She didn't point out his blushing or his intense study of the tent. "Maybe you need to work on finding a balance between doing what you enjoy and your duties?"

"Really?" Silas asked, looking in Murah's direction at the mention of holodramas. "Do you think their are any I can watch to learn a bit about all what could go wrong? Master Ogrus said I shouldn't go leaving a trail of broken hearts behind me, but I'm sure there is more to it then that."

Her second statement got a nod. "I think you're right, but it's a little hard to think up the how of it." He admittied after a moments thought. "I can't always tell when I'm making somethign to help someone, or making it because I want to."

That took her a little by surprise. "I would've thought you had seen these holodramas about young men and women like you who think too much with their emotions and end up making poor decisions to be together that end up hurting themselves and those around them. Or maybe I just like watching them and don't know what kids these days like to watch," she chuckled.

"As for that particular problem, there's nothing wrong in feeling joy over the work you do for others. But maybe ask yourself if there is someone benefitting from what you're making that isn't you?"