[Day 3 - Morning] Debate with Esla Tor

[Esla Tor]

The test was perhaps the easy part and she barely scraped by, now the second part awaited her. Esla sat with her gloved hands together, waiting for her debate partner. A part of her had wished this was like the meditative session yesterday where she could close her eyes and find herself elsewhere spiritually. She was here physically however and would need every part of her mental capabilities to help her through this.

[Farissa Kho]

Joining her was everyone's friendly neighbourhood Blue Knight.

"Good morning, Esla," she said politely and gave a smile as she stepped inside. "How are you today?"

[Esla Tor]

Esla gave Farissa a small smile and gave her a low nod to welcome her presence. While probably still anxious, at least the sight of Farissa put her at ease slightly. It was a friendly face, rather than an intimidating one.

"Good morning, Master Farissa. I am doing well today, and how do you do?" She said more easily than around her peers.

[Farissa Kho]

"Doing well, thank you," something about her intonation made it seem like she was well-adjusted to an air of formality that came more with high class rather than the Jedi.

"Now, let's see... you passed the test today, so congratulations," she said after a glance at her datapad. "How are you feeling about your trials?"

[Esla Tor]

"Thank you, Master Farissa." She was quick to say in reply, although she didn't know if that was exactly well-earned considering she barely made the mark. It wasn't quite the achievement to earn a full congratulations she thought at first. However, her words put her slightly at ease.

"I'm feeling...good." She said after a moment of hesitation, perhaps more relieved that she was doing okay for now but having little idea how she would do in the future.

[Farissa Kho]

"Good? Good..." she mused, nodding thoughtfully to that and made a mark on her datapad before placing it away. "Is it something you feel confident about? Travelling to an unknown world, and then to Ilum? To follow this path?"

[Esla Tor]

Esla crossed her fingers together as the thought about the question, perhaps the hesitation was enough to show that she wasn't exactly completely confident in herself. She glanced down at her lap for a moment to catch herself doing that before looking up at Farissa. "To be honest, I never thought about becoming a Jedi...prior to my training. It just happened at first. But, I've managed to get this far after the door has been opened for me. Taking the steps on my own should be the easy part, by comparison, Master Farissa. I'm sure I can do that."

[Farissa Kho]

She seemed to smile with some relief to hear Esla's confidence in herself, after seeing the first signs of hesitation. "But what will you do if you fail? What do you think is proper for someone who have failed their trials?"

[Esla Tor]

She blinked, looking rather confused by the question. Was such a thing possible? She hadn't considered it a possibility in herself or others for that matter. Did they ever talk about those who failed? She hadn't heard much, although she didn't poke much into gossip or rumours. Were they punished? Her mind gravitated toward that possibility but reminded herself that it seemed unlike the Jedi to do such a thing to their student but outcome seemed like a nebulous void.

"I...don't know. I would have to see if I would be worthy of another chance..." She said timidly at first, her gaze roaming at Farissa's own to read confirmation of such a possibility or if it was something unheard of. "Someone who fails would have to undergo all of their trials once more, I would think."

[Farissa Kho]

The Pantoran was hard to read, as she seemed to be watching Esla with a clever smile on her lips, as if she knew something the girl did not.

"There are many pitfalls along the way. Some of them easier to climb out of and dust off from than others... some too dark and deep to give any new chances," she said in a more solemn tone as the smile faded. "What do you think would be something that would make someone incapable of continuing or given another chance?"

[Esla Tor]

She was a bit stumped at the question and looked off as she tried to find the answers somewhere. Admittedly, she was probably drawing from her meagre imagination and passing hearsay rather than sure knowledge. "Mm...Perhaps someone who couldn't learn from the lessons or someone who just doesn't want to be a Jedi?"

It was likely she was referencing someone who was a failure than someone who truly had a aberrant mindset.

[Farissa Kho]

"That's a good guess," she nodded, before looking more directly at Esla. "I suppose I should ask if you wantto be a Jedi? It's not always an easy path, I will say honestly."

[Esla Tor]

"I do," she said at first. Admittedly, she felt that was perhaps partly motivated by obligation. "I never thought being a Jedi would be easy but my life hasn't exactly been always easy either. If the Jedi were willing to see potential in me then the least I could do is see that potential is realized when serving them."

[Farissa Kho]

"But are you saying that because you feel obligated to see it through, because we see the potential in you, or is it truly the future Esla Tor envisions for herself?" Farissa asked earnestly.

[Esla Tor]

She frowned at the question and looked down as she tried to contemplate an answer. "I have been asking the others what they see themselves doing in the future to get an idea, they don't seem to have much of an idea...I do wish I had a better idea of what is expected of me so I could perhaps think about what I want to do. If I don't need to give back to the Jedi, maybe I could use my talents to give back to the Galaxy so that others could have a chance?"

[Farissa Kho]

"That's a noble sentiment," she nodded, her lips forming into an approving smile as she did. "I am curious what sort of jedi Esla will be. How do you see yourself as a Jedi? A warrior and a defender? A diplomat and mediator? Or something else...?"

[Esla Tor]

"Uhm..." She murmured at first and didn't know what to say. It seemed like all of those roles were fantasies prior to her training, something you'd dream of rather than become. However, she supposed she would have to become someone eventually and her training would take her there eventually.

"I'm thinking that I could be a peacekeeper? Someone who serves to keep order and make sure that others are protected?" She offered as a possibility.

[Farissa Kho]

Farissa nodded. It seemed Esla at least had some thoughts of what she wanted of her future. Which was good!

"That's a good place to start. There's many ways you can be a peacekeeper... talk to people, or be like a bodyguard. You think that is something you will like?"

[Esla Tor]

"I think I can be like a bodyguard, it's something that I've sort of done before. I think I'm okay with a lightsaber too but I will probably have to train harder when I get the real thing. If I get one." Esla looked off with a tinge of embarrassment in her cheeks. "...I don't know if I can talk to people very well. I guess I can talk a bit but talking too much can sometimes be troublesome."

She couldn't help but think back at the museum yesterday. Admittedly, she might have been asking some dumb questions.

[Farissa Kho]

"Yeah, it takes a bit getting used to wielding a real lightsaber. The training sabers are a good emulation, but still not the real deal," she confessed herself, remembering how she had to adjust to it.

"Is there something in particular that bothers you about the talking? You and I are talking fine now, aren't we?" Farissa gave her an encouraging smile.