[D7 ME] Watching the Tide Roll Away

[Eir]

Eir sat in the sand, well above the water line. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, rucksack between her feet. She gazed out at the sea as it endlessly reached for the shore. This time yesterday, she’d gone to the Jedi Temple, found a place to sit, and remained there for some four hours, trying to meditate, but she didn’t feel any clearer of thought.

Her mind alternated between a riotous cacophony of thoughts, and bleak emptiness. Maybe I should talk about it, she mused, or write it down, or something.

[Chriala Hulis]

"What do you see, child?" Master Chriala's voice came from behind her.

The Master stood there in her robes, rippling lightly in the beach wind. Her expression was calm, almost peaceful.

[Eir]

“I was just savouring the sight of the waves rolling in, remembering the teeming and colourful life that’s hidden below.” Eir didn’t turn, she just kept watching the ocean, locked in its endless cycle, the waves reaching the shore and retreating again made it seem almost like the sea was breathing.

[Chriala Hulis]

"So you look at one thing, and see another." Chriala nodded.

After a moment, she came to stand next to her. "I came here to do much the same. May I join you?"

[Eir]

“Please,” the girl offered. Eir mused on the woman’s appearance, right when she was thinking that maybe Corvin had been right, and that she should talk to someone about her experience. The Force had brought her Chriala, and she would be remiss to ignore that; she sighed deeply, trying to marshal her thoughts into some semblance of order.

[Chriala Hulis]

Chriala eased herself down next to Eir, making herself comfortable on the sand.

She turned her head, angling halfway between Eir and the ocean. She smiled. "Such a sigh. A deep sigh means deep thoughts, or so I believe."

[Eir]

“Master Chriala,” she found the tail end of a trail and thought, and started there, “has anyone died during their trial?”

[Chriala Hulis]

Chriala's expression turned sad. "Very, very rarely. The dangers are not physical, and students are well-prepared. But it has happened."

"It has only happened once in my memory."

[Eir]

Eir nodded, trusting in Chriala's unseeing Sight to convey her reaction without words. "How do you know if someone has failed?"

[Chriala Hulis]

She turned to face Eir more directly. "Sometimes, they tell us. Other times..." Her lips pressed together. "If, afterwards, the student seems to be consumed by whatever it was that troubled them. Doubt, or fear, or whatever it may be. That is how we know. In which case, we get them what help we can, but they can never be a Jedi."

[Eir]

This bothered Eir, frowning, her lips pressed into a line, her nostrils flared a little with her breath. She continued to look out at the restless sea

[Chriala Hulis]

Chriala tilted her head, regarding Eir in the way she did. "What troubles you, Eir?" She said, her voice soft. "If it is the vision, I hope you will speak of it." Her lips quirked. "Actually, I hope you will speak of it, regardless. But that is just where my mind leads me."

[Eir]

It occurred to Eir that maybe Chriala could tell her why what Corvin said bothered her so much. "It's not the vision, Master Chriala, so much as what happened afterwards. I feel like I did something wrong⎼no, not wrong," she corrected, "I feel like I missed something important."

[Chriala Hulis]

"After?" Her forehead creased. "Please, go on."

[Eir]

"Knight Corvin and me were walking back from the vergence and," Eir paused. She had intended to delay talking about the trial itself until afterwards, but some context was required. The girl decided it would be easier to go all in, "I told him that Lord Destrus offered to make me his apprentice and Knight Corvin replied: I'm guessing you said no."

[Hatoful GM]

"And this troubles you." Chriala said, her tone encouraging. If anything Eir said shocked or surprised her, she didn't show it.

[Eir]

"Yes, it troubles me, and I do not understand why," she admitted. Eir was quiet for a long time as she tried to find words for the various conflicting ideas that crowded her head, her little hands curling into frustrated fists when her words failed to make sense.

[Chriala Hulis]

Chriala smiled gently. "Be patient with yourself. The answer will come with time. And if it does not, time spent in introspection on the beach is not wasted, I would say."

[Eir]

A strange thought occurred to the girl, a doubt, when before she had been so confident, “did I pass?” Eir felt like her head might explode, what if the trial still isn’t over?

[Chriala Hulis]

Gently, Chriala shook her head. "We did not administer the test. In a way, you did. In a very peculiar way, perhaps, but nevertheless."

She tilted her head, considering. "Perhaps... a better way to explain it is this. Only you know what you experienced in there. If you learned something worthwhile from it, then perhaps it could be said that you passed."